Wednesday, October 18, 2006
1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by
your unique point of view.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean
you're an artist.
3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet
it's hard to pronounce.
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is
5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young
7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions
I had about you.
11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of
Karma to burn off.
12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are
13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
14. How about never? Is never good for you?
15. I'm really easy to get along with once you
people learn to worship me.
16. You sound reasonable. Time to up my medication.
17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being
18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a
19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
21. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my
22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the
cellular level I'm really quite busy.
23. At least I have a positive attitude about my
24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of
25. I see you've set aside this special time to
humiliate yourself in public.
26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh
nervously, and change the subject.
This.... is new. Zen sarcasm:
1. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't
2. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
3. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
4. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a
couple of your house payments.
5. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away
and you have their shoes.
6. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving just wasn’t your thing.
7. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how
to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
8. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it
was probably worth it.
9. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
10. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
11. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
12. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half
and put it back in your pocket.
13. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
14. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a
dark side, and it holds the universe together.
15. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one
16. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips
17. Experience is something you don't get until just after you
18. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
19. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night.
20. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
21. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
22. Life is sexually transmitted.
22. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
I'm going away again, but not far. I'll actually be within biking distance, but I won't be biking due to the wicked and cold wind. I'm supposed to be going on a retreat, but since I've been gone nearly 6 weeks in the last 3 1/2 months, the best retreat might be just staying home. I'm really a homebody, so the trips have been out of character and out of my comfort zone. Three times I drove 1000 miles and once I flew out east. I often don't even go more than two miles from home in a month.
But maybe when I'm there, I'll be able to forget my cares and have fun and fellowship and do some of my hobby "work"....if I get enough sleep. And if the weather is not too brisk, I'll take a lot of pictures.